Tuesday, April 7, 2015
So here's the rest of the story, just for you Shannon, and anyone else who might have felt like they couldn't ask. What I can still remember 2 years later, to the day.
During the night she pulled the oxygen mask off, the nurses aka godsends, didn't even notice till one of them went in there to check on her. She was breathing on room air all by herself, just like that. She's been amazing us ever since. We went down in the morning and they had to move the IV from her hands to her head. While I knew they did that to newborns, it is never something you want to see in your own child. It just feels wrong to have a needle sticking out of your day old child's head. And by wrong, I mean, makes you want to cry, and vomit all over the place. I would have done anything to take her place. She was just so helpless, or so it seemed. Obviously, her body was doing what it was supposed to since she was breathing so well all of a sudden.
We were finally able to hold her for the first time, 16 long hours after birth. It was like a sigh of relief to be able to hold my baby in my arms. I dreamed of this moment since the second pink line showed on the pregnancy test. This is not how I imagined it going, all tangled up in cords, but it was amazing nonetheless.
The nurses told me that I could try to feed her. I had to pump up till then, and they were storing it for later. I was eager to feed her, as any mom with a brand new baby, and a brand new, painful cup size will understand. She had trouble staying awake to eat. We tried SNS which is a syringe with a tiny tube that you try to pump into the babies mouth at the same time to entice them to keep trying till there's letdown. After that and having at least 2 different nurses groping me to show me different things to try, we decided to just bag it for the time being. She hadn't eaten anything yet, but she was still too sick, and didn't have an appetite or energy to eat yet. We had to leave her again so she could get some good sleep and get better, and so we could eat. We came back after breakfast, and met up with her doctor again, he said she was doing amazingly well. She was a little fighter. However, she was still sick, and had to get over her infection, and be able to eat before she could go home. They also decided to put the cannula breathing tube in, because her blood oxygen levels kept dropping when she would sleep, which is basically all newborns do. Since the doctor was poking and prodding her to check on her, we had to leave to let her sleep again, after stealing some more snuggles, to make up for lost time.
We got a little sleep, I mean.... watched the required hospital "you just had a baby, and are very hormonal, so here watch this video that will scare the shizz out of you" videos. We went back to the NICU a little later, and tried feeding again. After another nurse got to second base with me, she declared I was too full and needed a shield to be successful. No crap, lady! Please eat baby! I'm dying here, I am going to explode milk everywhere, and no one wants that... unless it will make the pain go away, then yes, yes I do. We tried for an hour, using SNS, which is a lot easier with a shield. She still didn't want to eat. We left, and got some lunch, and let her sleep.
We went back to try to feed her again, this time she was finally hungry, and ate about half an ounce. VICTORY!! We had our ups and downs with being able to get her to stay awake to eat the rest of the day, but she was eating a little, with the help of SNS, and that was great.
The next day I was released from the hospital, and freed of my annoying IV I had been toting around from floor to floor to get to the NICU and back. I had to finish all my antibiotics before they would unhook, me and discharge me. The hospital will let you stay there for $15 a day if you need, so we did that. They made us switch rooms over to the side that was unoccupied so the nurses could keep all the patients next to each other, and didn't bother us. This was a horrible idea they had. 1st off, we were now at least 3 times farther from the elevator, not many other real patients needed to use that as often as we did, and it is not easy for a lady who just pushed out a watermelon to walk that far that often, especially when the massive swelling in my feet wouldn't go down because I didn't have a chance to put them up for more than an hour at a time.
And 2ndly, in the hike to the NICU we now had to walk passed the nursery with all the healthy babies that the parents just didn't want in their rooms with them. I wanted more than anything for my baby to be in my room with me. While I do understand why a parent would choose to use the nursery, I hated those parents at that time. They had no idea what it was like.
Throughout the week we were given false hope over and over again of when Lucy would be discharged. Having a baby in the NICU is the most exhausting thing I've ever experienced, and we were just ready to be home.
4 days after delivery there was a big spring snow storm. This put a ton of other women into labor, 21, to be exact. I didn't know the weather could do that. Apparently it has something to do with the change in pressure in the air or something. At least that's what we were told.
On the 5th day we were told we could no longer stay in the Mother and Baby floor because they needed the space. They said there was another room we could say in in the surgical unit. We were shown our room, and immediately turned it down. There was one hospital bed, and a chair. That was it. There was no way we could both stay there. They decided we could stay on the labor and delivery floor, since all the women had now birthed their babies there was room there.We stayed there, and it was and awful night. Aaron's sofa bed wouldn't stay together, and no one mentioned that the labor and delivery beds are made of some type of rubber for easy cleaning, not for comfort.You don't notice this when you're in labor, because it's not possible to be comfortable anyway.
The next day we decided we would just go home, with or without Lucy. She had a car seat test that day to see if she could go home. She failed it, even with the cannula to help. We would have to try again tomorrow. They weren't going to discharge her yet anyway. One of the hardest things I've done is to leave the hospital empty handed. This was just SO wrong. My heart was inside still, beating outside of my chest. No mother should ever have to do this, and I felt horrible for all mother's who left without their child for worse reasons than us. How completely awful that moment is. As if it's not bad enough, we has this CNA helping us, who kept reminding me how hard it was. Thanks lady, I didn't know. Please tell me more about how you understand my pain and emptiness.
Lucy took the car seat test again the next day, and failed it again, and again. They assured us that this wouldn't keep her from going home, we just wouldn't be able to go on any unnecessary car rides with her once were home. She also had to stay on oxygen when we were home, and keep a blood oxygen monitor on her foot so we know if she's improving or not.
Finally, after they longest week of my life, yes, even longer than the never ending last week of pregnancy, they discharged her, and we got to go home, as a family. Whole at last.
We got to introduce Lucy to our family over the next week. In the NICU she was only allowed 6 visitors the entire time, so after Aaron's parents, and my dad, we didn't want to pick and choose siblings she could meet since that would not be fair.
Her blood oxygen monitor, while comforting, made for some long nights. It would go off all the time with this loud beeping that make you think the house is going to burn down. It was too sensitive, and didn't give her a chance to get her oxygen up on her own before freaking out. It was nice to not have to worry about SIDS, or anything that first week though. Having something monitor her was sort of nice.... at times.
She had to stay on oxygen until her 2 week appointment, then she was set free, and we had ourselves a cordless baby, fit for the 21st century ;)
She's now the smartest, sweetest, cutest 2 year-old you'll ever meet. Though, I may be just a little biased.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
I was trying to have a natural labor. My thinking is that every labor is different, and everyone's pain level is different, how can you know it's something you can't handle if you don't try? I was open minded to the fact that I might end up needing an epidural if things were progressing slowly, but I was going to try and see how it goes. I wanted to see how much I could take. Also, if you know me, I'm a cheapskate. Epidurals cost almost 2 grand! I was definitely going to try and save that money if I could.
The nurse mentioned sending me home, but said she had to go talk to the doctor on call first, which happened to be my doctor. I did not like the thought of going home at this point. If contractions 3 minutes apart are not close enough to go to the hospital, then how was I supposed to know when to go? I labored for an hour or two on the exercise ball they provide. I wish I had brought my own, their's sucked. The doctor came in to talk to me and said I was having too many contractions to send me home at this point. Yes! He also told me that he had a medical conference to attend the next morning, so he probably wouldn't be the one to actually deliver the baby, and the doctor that would was the one doctor I didn't want to. Shucks. I knew he'd do fine, he just kind of gives me the creeps. He reminds me of the doctors on shows like Grey's Anatomy that look like they worry more about their appearance than their patients. Not the kind of person I want staring at my dirty bits. ;)
The nurse came back and checked me, I was at a 4. At least that was some progress. They unhooked me from the monitors, and I was able to wander the halls to try and get things going. While this sounds like a good idea, it's not so easy to go through a contraction while standing in the middle of a hallway, especially with random people standing around watching you. Also not helpful was the lady who was in labor and pushing and screaming as I walked by. Not exactly calming. I switched between walking the halls and bouncing on the ball in my room. It was hard to find something comfortable though since I was having back labor. I was cold and I just wanted to lay down and cuddle up in a blanket, but that didn't help either. The nurse checked me again at about 5 and I was at a 5. Man, things were going slow. She also mentioned that I had a slight fever of 37.4 degrees Celsius (they were only telling me in Celsius, but that's about 99.2 Fahrenheit) when I got to the hospital, it was now up to 37.6. If you get above 38 (100.4 F) degrees it means you have some sort of infection and they have to put you on antibiotics. Now it made sense why I had been cold and shivering all night. They were going to have to keep an eye on my temperature and make sure it didn't keep climbing.
I was having a hard time dealing with my contractions as they got stronger, and I got more tired. I knew I needed to get some rest or I wouldn't have energy to push. The contractions were so close together, and didn't stop hurting in between there was no way I could sleep. I knew it was going to hurt when I went into this, but I expected to have a minute of not hurting to catch my breath and prepare for the next contraction. That was not the case for me. Aaron kept telling me it was okay to get the epidural, which didn't help me to stay strong and do it without. I had a stretch of about 15 minutes of just saying "Ow" over and over and not being able to concentrate on my breathing, and just being so tired I didn't care anymore. I gave in and asked for the epidural. I was scared to get it mostly because the idea of having a huge needle stuck into my spine did not sound fun. I don't remember it hurting much at all though, it just felt weird. He bumped a nerve which sent a "zing" down my right leg making it kick. Felt like I got shocked. I could feel the medicine go through the tube that was taped to me, and into my back. It was all pretty strange. The relief was almost instant though. I never completely lost feeling in my legs, they just felt a little heavy.
I now had one nurse and 2 students check on me every time. I had to be a guinea pig for the students to practice on. How fun! Welcome to the show. They checked me at about 6 and I was at a 6. I tried to sleep, but those beds are very uncomfortable, and the nurses kept coming in every 15 minutes to take my temperature. Every time they came in they told me to get some rest. Thanks for the tip, now if you leave me alone maybe I could! I got maybe 30-45 minutes of sleep in all. They checked me again at 7, and I was still a 6. At 8 I was at a 7, and they broke my water to try and get things going faster. Apparently that didn't work, cause an hour later I was still at a 7. They asked if they could do a Pitocin drip, I said I wanted to wait another hour to see if things started to progress on it's own. That was a good choice, because by 10 I was 8 1/2. Wahoo! Almost there! When they took my temperature this time I was 37.8, so they took it again in the other ear since it was close to being too high. That ear was 38 degrees. dun dun dun. Time for antibiotics. They also had to put me on oxygen, but neither of us can remember why. Being on that oxygen was awful. It wasn't just a slow trickle of air, it was being blasted in my face. I've always had a hard time breathing when going for a ride with Aaron on his motorcycle, makes me feel a little sick. That's how it felt, it made it harder to breathe right, not easier.
They had a NICU nurse come talk to us. Since I had an infection, that meant Lucy might have one too. She would have to go to the NICU to get checked right after birth. It turned out to be a good thing that they were going to be there ready when she was born.
At 11:30 I could tell I was at a 10 because I started to feel a lot of pressure with every contraction. They came in to check me at noon, and sure enough, 10! They had me do some practice pushes with each contraction, then had me labor down for 30 minutes. That was a VERY long 30 minutes. The pressure was so intense with every contraction. I desperately wanted to push and get her out already. I was able to really start pushing at a little after 1. With every contraction they have you take a deep breath in and hold it, push for a count of 10, exhale, and repeat that 3 times. I got very lightheaded and felt like I was going to pass out every time. I had to keep stopping and breath like normal for a minute. I was so dizzy. Probably from not eating or having much to drink since midnight. Nazi labor nurses! ;) We changed it to pushing just till the count 6 each time. I had a mirror, and I could see her head when I pushed. So much hair! That made me very happy. I pushed till 2:30, then they paged the doctor. He didn't come, and no one could find him. I was worried one of the nurses would have to catch her. He finally got there around 2:40, and I pushed for 2 more cycles of 3, plus one extra little push, and finally she was here!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I haven't had a chance to put it in my journal yet, this little girl keeps me plenty occupied, so this is going to be long and detailed so I can remember it. Sorry if it drags on. I'm going to do this in a few different posts since it's so long. It was a pretty eventful experience. This is the post about the events leading up to labor.
Geez, I've been working on this post for a month now. But it's finally finished!
In February I started having braxton hicks contractions 2-3 minutes apart. I had been having braxton hicks since December, but never more than 4 an hour. We called the hospital, and were told to go to labor and delivery. After a couple of tests, the worst shot I've ever had to stop the contractions, having a nurse who is "cursed with short fingers" (OUCH!) check me (I was 50% thinned), and monitoring little miss for 3 hours, we were sent home with basically no information, and told to come back when we felt like we needed to.... Oh okay..... I had a doctors appointment in a few days, so I just took it easy till then. At the doctors appointment I was 60% thinned. He said he didn't feel like she was going to be premature, but that she would probably come before my due date, but to take it easy just to be safe. I also started weekly appointments at that point so they could keep on eye on us.
I continued to thin more at each appointment, until I got to 80%, then it just stopped. No more progression, despite the fact that the contractions hadn't stopped. I was fine with that, until I hit 37 weeks and it was still the same. I started to worry that I wouldn't progress anymore at all. My mom had to have all c-sections because she was unable to progress passed a thinning cervix. I knew I had a higher chance for c-sections because of this. Before I got pregnant I had convinced myself a c-section wouldn't be that bad, and I would be fine with it if it came down to that. In December my thoughtful brother, who is a doctor, felt the need to tell me how a c-section is a major surgery, and is a bad thing to have happen. Most surgeries now can be done with only small incisions, but you obviously can't pull out a baby piece by piece like you can other things. Thank you kind brother of mine, you know exactly how to calm a pregnant lady's nerves.
At my 38 week appointment I finally dilated to a 1. Wasn't much, but I was happy with it. After this appointment my braxton hicks got quite a bit stronger, to the point of even hurting a lot of the time. I thought for sure this meant progress, and that I would go into labor very soon. Another week passed, and another doctors appointment. No change. Now I was getting pissed. I just kept thinking, "Why are the contractions hurting if they aren't doing anything?" Aaron had 3 use or lose days he had to take by the end of March, we were very hopeful that Lucy would come early and he could use this time off, along with the rest of his vacation time he had saved to spend time at home with us. Lucy was stubborn and had other plans. I was so frustrated that it didn't work out that way, especially since the doctor told me she would probably come before her due date.
On Easter I was helping my nephews find their Easter eggs, which involved going up and down a big hill and steep stairs in my dad's backyard. Somewhere in the process, baby girl finally dropped. PROGRESS! My due date was 2 days later, it came and went with no change. The next day was my doctors appointment. That morning around 8 I finally started to have labor pains. One of the only times in life it makes you happy to be experiencing pain. I went to work, and told them it would probably be my last day for awhile, finally. The contractions continued throughout the day, but weren't close enough to feel like I should be timing them yet. My appointment was at 3, and my doctor said I was at a 2 1/2. He offered to discuss getting induced, but I wasn't interested in more than having him strip my membranes. He said he wasn't sure if it would work or not, I guess it only has about 40% chance of working, and even though I felt like I was having labor pains, he wasn't positive if he would be seeing me in the next few days or not. We made an appointment for 5 days later, he said at that point we would have to start thinking about induction.
We went home and bounced on my exercise ball for a couple of hours to try and get things going. I started timing my contractions at this point, and they were 8 minutes apart, and getting stronger. Aaron rented some movies for me to watch while I labored. We did some pressure points, I did some squats, and kept bouncing on the ball. Willis was very concerned about me, and was watching me like a hawk. He tried to cuddle with me whenever he could. It was funny. He's a sweet puppy. At around 11 my contractions were about 4 minutes apart. We started to get ready to go, ate, cleaned up a little, and made sure we had everything we needed ready to go. We got to the hospital just after midnight, and my contractions were 3 minutes apart and strong.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Lucy Claire! She's finally here. Born April 4th, 2:43pm, 7 lbs 8 oz, 20 inches, the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. We are in love with her. Can't get enough. She had a bumpy start, and spent her first week in the nicu. I'll have to post the labor story later.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
I'm 37 weeks.
Maternity clothes: That's pretty much all I wear any more. A lot of my shirts can still fit around my tummy, but aren't long enough, and I'm more comfortable in looser clothing right now anyway. I have one pair of non maternity pants that still fit, but I've grown out of some of my maternity pants. Don't judge, she hangs out really low.
Sleep: Better than I expected, but defiantly not great.
Best moment this week: Knowing that we made it to full term! She gave us a scare, trying to come too early for a little bit there.
Miss anything: Obviously. It'll be worth it though, or so I'm told. ;)
Movement: Lots of it. I feel like she's going to bust out sometimes.
Food Cravings: Not really. I occasionally feel like eating fruity chewy candy, but other than that, no.
Symptoms: I have the symptoms of a pregnant lady.
Happy or Moody: I have felt like myself for the most part. I am a little more sensitive and irritable than usual (husband will attest to that), but mostly just me.
Wedding ring on or off: Been off for awhile. It was tight to begin with, so I took it off before it would get stuck.
Showing: Let's just say people have moved on from asking if I'm pregnant to just assuming. I like to make it awkward and say something like "What makes you think I'm pregnant?" Good times.
I feel I have been very lucky and had a relatively easy pregnancy. Hopefully that doesn't mean a difficult labor, or difficult baby ;) I don't feel like I'm one of those ladies just dying to get her out of me. She's safer in there, so what's the rush? I'll enjoy being able to take her places with out much planning while I can. However, I would love for her to be born in March, and not April. Please don't go past due, little girl!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
|All together now: "Awwwww!"|
We've had a lot of fun watching her move lately. I've been able to feel her move since September, and Aaron got to feel her for the first time on Halloween, so feeling her move is nothing new. Neither is seeing it at this point really, we've been able to see her since November. Now it's the big movements, which are fun, but kind of creepy. We'll see a big bulge poke out of my stomach and slide around for a minute, and disappear Weird how things like that are considered normal during pregnancy.
We'll, that's the only update for now.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Then the more in depth questions start, "Are you sick?" "Are you tired?" "Do you sleep good?" Sheesh, do I look that bad? I know that's not what they are getting at. I guess pregnant ladies typically take this as an opportunity to complain a little, and with good reason. I'm not one to complain to others normally (Aaron being the exception. He gets an ear full of my pregnancy complaints on a regular basis. Poor kid). I feel uncomfortable complaining about pregnancy when there are so many women that would kill to be in my position. I feel so blessed that I am able to carry my daughter, and feel her kick all day. I don't take this miracle for granted. I'm not saying that others do, that's just my reasoning for not having much to say about the whole situation. Also, I don't really like talking about myself a lot, or having a lot of attention focused on me. Most of the questions asked are focused more on mom rather than baby. So, to help answer some questions, I found this list of questions for pregnant ladies, here you go:
(Please note, I'm not using this to complain either)
I'm 24 weeks.
Maternity clothes: Only 2 pairs of non-maternity pants still fit (fitting meaning I can still do up the zipper, and just use a hair band to keep the top together. Don't judge me), my shirts fit around the tummy, some are just not long enough anymore. Thank you to those of you that loaned me maternity clothes! I don't do well at shopping for myself, so my wardrobe was getting very small. You ladies saved me!
Best moment this week: Hearing her heartbeat at the doctor yesterday.
Miss anything: Of course, that's a silly question for a pregnant lady. The list would be too lengthy. :)
Movement: Like crazy. You can see it on the outside now. I love to just watch my belly move.
Food Cravings: I don't like the term cravings when related to pregnancy. I feel like that means I must have this food now! I don't feel like that with anything. I can say that I can't resist sweets if they are around, and I love green veggies.
Symptoms: Now, this question is just begging for complaints. I have symptoms of pregnancy, and that's enough. In all honesty, I feel I've been pretty lucky with what I've had to deal with thus far.
Happy or Moody: I mostly just feel like myself. If I am really lacking on sleep I get very weepy, and if anyone cries around me, or on TV for any reason, I too must cry. I've asked Aaron about this several times, and he agrees that most of the time I seem normal. Good answer husby.
Wedding ring on or off: Off, mostly I was just paranoid it would get stuck and have to be cut off since it was tight before I got pregnant. I had to get a ring cut off once when I jammed my finger and it got way swollen. Luckily that was just a cheap-o ring.
Showing: I feel like I've been showing since about 10 weeks, I'm sure it was in my head more than anything, but my scoliosis makes my gut poke out, so she didn't have anywhere else to go but out. Also, she hangs out in the front, so that made me show sooner too. Those are my excuses at least. I've been told that right now I just have a basketball belly. I'm scared to see how big it will get if it's this big already.
I would like to mention that all of this is said with a smile on my face. I am happy to go through this, and whatever else is to come for this little girl. She just better recognize what I had to do for her when she's a teenager. :)